Pittsburgh Jokes

Although April Fools' Day has come and gone, I think it's important to use jokes frequently...even in speech therapy.  Joke telling is a great way to practice turn-taking and social skills.  Telling jokes is also a great way to practice articulation, stuttering strategies, language, voice strategies, abstract reasoning, reading...just about anything!  Here are a few Pittsburgh-themed jokes:

1. Why did the panther cross the road?  Because it was the chicken's day off!

2. What's black and white, black and blue, black and white, black and blue?  A Pittsburgh penguin slipping on the ice!

3. What did the Eat'n Park Smiley Cookie say when he felt sick?  I feel crummy.  I'm about to crumble!

4. Where do Pittsburghers keep their money?  In a river bank!

5. What did the frozen vegetables at Giant Eagle say?  Lettuce out, it's cold in here!

6. How can there be an Upper Saint Clair if there isn't a Lower Saint Clair?!

7. What is the nicest town in Pittsburgh?  Friendship!

8. Knock knock.  Who's there?  Pierogi.  Pierogi who?  Knock knock.  Who's there?  Pierogi.  Pierogi who?  Knock knock.  Who's there?  Pierogi who?  Knock knock.  Who's there?  Orange.  Orange who?  Orange you glad I didn't say Pierogi?!

9. What do lawyers wear to the Allegheny Courthouse?  Lawsuits!

10. Why did the computer go to UPMC?  Because it had a virus!

Please post below any Pittsburgh-themed jokes that are appropriate for children.

Pragmatics; Tea Houses

Individuals with deficits in "pragmatics" exhibit difficulty with social language and/or social norms.  Anyone can have difficulty in this area, but it is especially prevalent in individuals with autism and Asperger's syndrome.  Social language often needs to be explicitly taught to those in need.  Reviewing social "rules" is a great start, but practice is the key.  Anytime children leave the home is an opportunity to implement proper pragmatics.  A nice place to start, though, may be visiting one of Pittsburgh's tea houses.  Tea houses are not only known for etiquette, but also provide a calm and structured setting for practice.  Start at a tea party in your home, and then move onto the real-deal. 

Image retrieved from http://besidethetrail.ca/tearoom/menu.html

To increase social language, there are three main areas to pay attention to.  The first is following the rules for language interaction: take turns during a conversation, understand facial expressions, maintain eye contact, stay on topic, etc.  The second area is using language for varying purposes: social markers ("hello," "goodbye," "thank you"), requesting ("May I have some sugar?"), informing ("I need to get a napkin."), etc.  The third area is adjusting language to the needs of the situation: using an indoor voice instead of an outdoor voice, introducing yourself to others, providing context, etc.

More ideas for teaching pragmatics may be found at: http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/PragmaticLanguageTips/

Some tea houses in Pittsburgh are Antiquitea Home (Pittsburgh), Just My Cup of Tea (Oakmont), Dobra Tea (Pittsburgh), The Zenith (Pittsburgh), Miss Martha's Tea Room and Floral (Scottdale), The Johnston House (Mars), Bella's House of Fine Teas and Gift Shop (Bethel Park), Alexandra's Tea Room (Springdale), Serendipity Tea Room and Cafe (Belle Vernon).  Please post below on how your outings at the tea houses go.  I haven't had the luxury of visiting any of these (although Zenith has been on my to-do list for years), but they all look beautiful!

Word List: Walnut Street/Shadyside

Word lists containing nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs are useful for many goals.  They can be used to target reading, spelling, writing, stuttering, voice strategies, articulation, phonological processes, vocabulary building, sentence structure, etc.  Thus, I have decided to post word lists relating to Pittsburgh.  This one is centered on Walnut Street/Shadyside.  Obviously there are many, many words that pertain to this area so I have tried to limit my lists to 25-50 words.  If there is a word that you would like to be included, please post below!

Image retrieved from http://imaginepittsburgh.com/explore/girasole.

I think this list is especially relevant to the tween/teen population.  Bring the list with you on your next trip to Shadyside and use it to practice goals, or ask your child to brainstorm words that pertain to Shadyside and her speech goals.  For example, if your child needs to practice vocabulary building, ask her to think of synonyms for purses (handbags, clutch, tote, etc.) and then spend some time looking at the purses for sale.  If your child needs to practice the /r/ sound, ask her to say words with the letter "R" in them as you walk around Walnut Street (dinner, jewelry, parking spot, etc.).

Alley

Apparel

ATM/MAC machine

Bistro

Breakfast/lunch/dinner

Bus

Bus stop

Café

Cards

Cash

Checks

Clothing

Coffee

Convenience store

Credit card

Dining

Dressing room

Electronics

Entertainment

Fashion

Florist

Food (American, French, Thai, Chinese)

Furnishings

Gallery

Gifts

Grill

Gym (exercise, workout, strength, nutrition, fitness)

Hair salon

Jewelry (rings, bracelets, cuffs, solitaire, gems, silver, gold, platinum, choker, chain, band)

Lingerie

Music

Parking garage

Parking meter

Pharmacy

Purse (handbag, clutch, tote)

Reservations

Restaurant

Sales associate

Shadyside

Shoes (stilettos, high heels, sandals, wedges, mules, clogs, sneakers, boots)

Shopping (browse, purchase, return)

Side street

Stationery

Style

Tea

Technology

Ticket

Toys

Variety store

Walnut street

It's snowing, it's storming: An Ode to Pittsburgh Winters

The nursery rhyme "It's raining, it's pouring" is thought to have originated in England as an ode to the country's rainy weather.  Here is a variation I wrote as an ode to Pittsburgh's recent snowy weather this winter.  I recommend singing it to the same tune.  Nursery rhymes are especially helpful for children because they build awareness of sounds and language, promote pre-literacy skills, and encourage social interaction.

It's snowing, it's storming,
Jack Frost gave us a warning:
Turn up the heat, wear socks on your feet,
Or you'll be cold in the morning!

A Pittsburgh Valentine Nursery Rhyme

Here is another nursery rhyme I wrote dedicated to Pittsburgh; this one has a simple Valentine's theme inspired by Pittsburgh's love for sports.  Nursery rhymes are especially helpful for children because they build awareness of sounds and language, promote pre-literacy skills, and encourage social interaction.

We love the Steelers,
We cheer them on to play,
We love the Steelers,
Hey-hey hey!

We love the Tartans,
We wish for them to win,
We love the Tartans,
Grin-grin-grin!

We love the Penguins,
We rally at the rink,
We love the Penguins,
Wink-wink-wink!

We love the Panthers,
We hope for them to score,
We love the Panthers,
Roar-roar-roar!

We love the Dukes,
We like how they compete,
We love the Dukes,
Tweet-tweet-tweet!

We love the Pirates,
We root for the home team,
We love the Pirates,
Dream-dream-dream!

Another Pittsburgh Nursery Rhyme

Here is another nursery rhyme I wrote dedicated to Pittsburgh.  Nursery rhymes are especially helpful for children because they build awareness of sounds and language, promote pre-literacy skills, and encourage social interaction.

Let's leave Pittsburgh,
Let's leave for a day,
Let's see what's to see, far, far, away!

Not for all of Carnegie's steel.
Not for a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse meal.

Not for all the chocolate at Sarris.
Not for all the strength of Franco Harris.

Not even for the rivers three.
Not for all the sandwiches at Primanti.

Not for all the fries at the O.
Not for all the music at the CLO.

Not for all of Mellon's wealth.
Not for all of UPMC's health.

Not for all the flowers at Phipps.
Not for a year of free PAT trips.

Not for all the trains at Station Square.
Not for all the Pirates' fanfare.

Not for all of PPG's glass.
Not for all of Walnut Street's class.

Not for one Schenley Park tree.
Not even for one book from Carnegie Library.

Not for one Cathedral of Learning room.
Not for one bridge on which the cars zoom.

Not for the hills to the north, south, east and west.
Not for the knowledge of Pitt that's the best.

In Pittsburgh we live,
In Pittsburgh we'll stay.
We'll stay even year, every month, every day.

The Twelve Days of Christmas: Pittsburgh Style

The following is a modification of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" I wrote, to be focused on Pittsburgh.  Songs can be helpful for the pediatric population to increase socialization.

On the first day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

A partridge in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

5 O hot dogs

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

6 bankers banking

5 O hot dogs

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

7 Penguins skating

6 bankers banking

5 O hot dogs

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

8 Pirates winning

7 Penguins skating

6 bankers banking

5 O hot dogs

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

9 doctors helping

8 Pirates winning

7 Penguins skating

6 bankers banking

5 O hot dogs

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

10 professors teaching

9 doctors helping

8 Pirates winning

7 Penguins skating

6 bankers banking

5 O hot dogs

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

11 boats a-floating

10 professors teaching

9 doctors helping

8 Pirates winning

7 Penguins skating

6 bankers banking

5 O hot dogs

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas

Pittsburgh gave to me:

12 Heinz pickles

11 boats a-floating

10 professors teaching

9 doctors helping

8 Pirates winning

7 Penguins skating

6 bankers banking

5 O hot dogs

4 Primanti sandwiches

3 rivers flowing

2 terrible towels

and a partridge in a pear tree.